to the a**holes that live above me

hello. my name is brandi. i'm the short chick with the dark hair that has repeatedly had to BANG ON YOUR DOOR at 3 am. its funny, i know you're there because i can hear you, and you wake my daughter up, but you NEVER ANSWER THE FRIGGIN DOOR! here's your final notice...i *do not* want to hear you banging around in your laundry room at 6:30 am. i *do not* want to hear your fat dog running around in circles in your apartment. i *do not* want to hear your loud entries into your apartment at 3am after an evening out. i *do not* want to hear you open your sliding glass door a million times after 9pm. i *do not* want to hear said dog barking and howling after 9pm...i *am* a hunter, i *do* know how to use a firearm, and i am *always* looking for target practice. beagles are perfect for said target practice. i *do not* want to hear you slam your front door EVER AGAIN. furthermore, i have a SEVEN YEAR OLD DAUGHTER. i am a SINGLE PARENT, which means that at the end of the day, i am exhausted and at the end of my rope. excessive noise when i'm trying to sleep is likely to send me over the edge. here's your final notice - i HAVE COMPLAINED to the management. the next knock on your door will NOT be me...it will be the HURST POLICE DEPARTMENT. and they are NOT nice people - haven't you seen how many tickets they write at the end of the month?

there...i feel better. thanks, friends, for indulging my rant. i just had to get that off my chest. and please excuse my language...i'm usually not that profane.

the sting of a grateful american

hi.

i had the most amazing opportunity this morning, and i have to share it.

i live in hurst, which is a suburb of fort worth. i live 15 minutes from d/fw international airport. there are flights arriving daily from kuwait city - they're called r&r flights - of soldiers coming home from the war. i went today to support, to cheer, and to thank these wonderful men and women for fighting in this war, and every war that came before. i will never ever forget the looks of these awesome heroes walking off of that airplane, hugging us, shaking our hands, accepting our thanks. they deserve so very much more than that. i even saw lots of tears (some of which were my own).

i was so proud to be standing amongst such fine americans. i heard lots of 'welcome home, soldier', 'thank you for your hard work, ma'am', 'god bless you', 'good job', and several 'let me help you with that heavy load you've got there's. i've said this before, and i'll say it again. i implore you to shake the hand of someone - anyone - that you see in a uniform, whether it be civil service or military, and thank them for all that they do. i know this may not be a war that everyone agrees with, but those men and women deserve our support and thanks just the same.

greeting these flights will now be something that i do often. if you live around here, or you are ever in the area, give me a shout and i'll tell you how to get the incoming flight information - they do come in every day. i'm looking forward to independence day...that's where i'll be.

the palms of my hands still sting from all of the clapping - and i am grateful.

holy moses!

ok, i whined about the financial planning seminar yesterday, but believe it or not, i actually learned some valuable stuff. did you know that the average woman becomes a widow at the age of 56? and 25% of those widows go through their husband's death benefit in TWO MONTHS!! women are out of the workforce an average of 11 1/2 years longer than men due to childbirth and child-rearing, so while men need to save about 10% of their income per year, to make up for the defecit, women need to save **12%**. i'll be 30 years old this year...so if i start saving $11 a day until i retire, i will have saved over a million and a half dollars. i'm off to the bank...!!!

ladies - go buy a copy of the book 'smart women finish rich'. its not really about making a whole lot of money, its about prioritizing your life and identifying your goals vs. your values to live your life to its fullest, so your happier in your everyday life *and* you can save for your retirement. its a great tool for us.

i have another story to share this evening about what i did this morning...i almost feel like i have a life again!!!

blogging blues

hello, boys and girls. i have been using a lot of lyrics lately to communicate because NOTHING NEW is going on in my life. isn't that sad? i work from home, so nothing interesting happens to me here. my daughter's babysitter is upstairs, so i don't actually have to leave to take her somewhere. i got a pedicure today...big whoop. larry the cat is even bored with me - she's been sleeping all day. the tadpole is still a tadpole...i'm as boring as they get. i'm going to a financial planning seminar tonight...sound boring? YEP. i don't even have any funny jokes to tell. i think i might have 'blogger's block'. anyone know where the action is around here???

for guy

in every heart there is a room - a sanctuary safe and strong
to heal the wounds from lovers past until a new one comes along
i spoke to you in cautious tones, you answered me with no pretense
and still i feel i said too much - my silence is my self defense
and every time i've held a rose, it seems i only felt the thorns
and so it goes, and so it goes...and so will you soon, i suppose
but if my silence made you leave, then that would be my worst mistake
so i will share this room with you, and you can have this heart to break
and this is why my eyes are closed...it's just as well, for all i've seen
and so it goes, and so it goes, and you're the only one who knows
so i would choose to be with you - that's if the choice were mine to make
but you can make decisions too, and you can have this heart to break
and so it goes, and so it goes...and you're the only one who knows

courtesy of kelly clarkson

i will not make the same mistakes that you did
i will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
i will not break the way you did - you fell so hard
i've learned the hard way to never let it get that far
because of you

i never stray too far from the sidewalk because of you
i learned to play on the safe side so i don't get hurt because of you
i find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
because of you i am afraid, i lose my way, and its not too long before you point it out
i cannot cry because i know that's weakness in your eyes

i'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh, every day of my life
my heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to start with
i watched you die
i heard you cry every night in your sleep
i was so young
you should have known better than to lean on me
you never thought of anyone else - you just saw your pain
and now i cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing because of you
because of you

because of you i am afraid
because of you i never stray too far from the sidewalk
because of you i learned to play on the safe side so i don't get hurt
because of you i try my hardest just to forget everything
because of you i don't know how to let anyone else in
because of you i'm ashamed of my life because its empty
because of you i am afraid
because of you.

my occupation

i'm an electroneurodiagnostic technologist. to simplify - i shock people for a living. in man terms, I 'run diagnostics' on the brain, spine, central and peripheral nervous systems. i talked about this a long time ago; it was, i believe, my second post...gosh, that seems like forever ago...almost a lifetime! i hook electrodes up to people...depending on the problem. electrodes on the foot, leg, thigh, arm, hand, wrist, cervical and/or lumbar spine, head...and that's just the beginning. i then shock them with something that closely resembles a stun gun. the computer at the other end of the electrodes makes a map of the nerve's function, and the 'puter spits out all kinds of numbers. all of that stuff is interpreted, and live moves on from there. however...now that i'm the only one in the company other than the doctor that owns it, i am now the marketer, the scheduler, the person in charge of making sure the billing is done correctly...and anything and everything else that needs to be done. some days i work several hours...many days, i don't work at all. nooooooooooo problems there! sure, i'll take a paycheck to get a tan. why not??

i'm enjoying your responses to your favorite love songs. i know its hard to choose - there are so many out there. keep them coming, though...even if you've already left me one. i'm a die-hard, hopeless romantic, and the songs make me smile...but leave them, even if they make me cry!
here's another of my favorites...'i go crazy' by paul davis

hello girl it's been awhile
guess you'll be glad to know that i've learned how to laugh and smile
getting over you was slow
they say old lovers can be good friends, but i never thought i'd really see you...i'd really see you again
i go crazy when i look in your eyes
i still go crazy...no my heart just can't hide that old feelin' inside
way deep down inside
oh baby, you know when i look in your eyes i go crazy
you say he satifies your mind
tells you all of his dreams...i know how much that means to you
i realize that i was blind
just when i thought i was over you, i see your face and it just ain't true
no it just ain't true
i go crazy when i look in your eyes
i still go crazy
that old flame comes alive, it starts burning inside...way deep down inside
oh baby, you know when i look in your eyes i go crazy"

talk to me!

love and light...
~sparky

ugh

hello, strangers and friends. let me just begin by saying that losing someone that you love is a *B.I.T.C.H.* moving on...

my job is fan-freaking-tastic. i think i work maybe 8 hours a week at the most, and since i'm salaried, i get paid anyway. to lay out by the pool, watch tv, read, shop, go to the zoo...whatever my little heart desires. and since the other three people that worked for us were FIRED for being STUPID, i'm now the only one in the company, besides the doctor. FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC! i can't believe i stumbled on such an incredible opportunity. they were right...when one door closes, there's an open window somewhere. sweet!

now...for the tadpole update. one of the little boogers died...but one lived. and still has NO FREAKING LEGS! (i'm using that word a lot, huh?) no legs...i really have no clue what to do with it, and i'm really starting to get concerned. i wonder if they're growing inside his body, and he's gonna explode or something freakish like that. should i call 'unsolved mysteries'??

hmmmm...ok, i've written, but i feel like i've written nothing of substance. so...i'll ask a question. what's your favorite *LOVE* song?

mine? "amneris' letter" from elton john and bernie taupin's musical "aida".

'i'm sorry for everything i've said, and for anything i forgot to say, too
when things get so complicated, i stumble - at best, muddle through
i wish that our lives could be simple
i don't want the world - only you
i wish i could tell you this face to face, but there's never the time - never the place
so this letter will have to do...
i love you'

shania twain sang the song on the album that was cut. its quite possibly the most beautiful song i've ever heard. now - share yours with me.

love and light...
~sparky

*sigh* legless in ft worth *pout*

well, guess what? after much coaching and talking and persuading and hoping and even praying, the stinkin things STILL don't have legs - nor do they have any signs of nubbies that could perhaps one day become legs. i'm doomed to have legless frogs. do they make wheelchairs for frogs that never sprouted legs? i should start looking for a couple.

i'm leaving for galveston early in the morning for a 'family vacation'. some of us - six, to be exact - are riding in a van. gee, won't that be fun?? i think i'll double my dosage of dramamine and skip out on all of that excitement. and if i'm drugged, i won't have to drive!!! but i *am* looking forward to laying out on the beach and *shopping*!! somewhere i have to find a beautiful suntanned brunette to bring home :o) HI, GUY!!

kenny chesney married the 'you had me at hello' girl. excuse me while i barf. and that's all i have to say about that.

so i have a question for you guys - if you could spend 24 hours living someone else's life, who would it be, and why? i think i would like to trade places with oprah... she gets to spend time with the coolest people, and she has the means and the desire to help people who actually need it.

this saturday is 'stamp out hunger' saturday. before your letter carrier arrives, put some non-perishable food items by your mailbox so they can donate it to your community.

no matter how tainted or horrible you think you are, you are still a tool of God.

the plight of the legless frog

i have been trying to get these tadpoles to grow legs for months now. MONTHS! i've had them in the shade, i've had them in the sun, i've fed them a little, i've fed them a lot, i've changed their water, and nothing. N.O.T.H.I.N.G. there's a little creek by my apartment that i take my daughter to when she feels like 'exploring', so i had an idea. i figured they might not be getting what they need out of bottled water (which is what the frog booklet they came with recommends), so i went to get them some creek water and algae. so...off i go. i filled up the cups and the bowl, and i start walking around checking stuff out. bass, perch, minnows, turtles, you name it! i see this little head sticking out of the water, and i moved over into the shade so i could see into the water...i wanted to know what was attached to the head. big mistake. HUGE! i look down and the head is attached to a 3 and a half foot long WATER MOCCASIN. cripes! those little suckers will chase you!!! not to mention, they've got a seriously poisonous bite. so i wait...stand completely still...until the thing swam away and buried itself in a hole in the embankment. good lord. nothing that scary has happened to me since the electricity went off at 3 am and i couldn't find my cellphone! (i'm afraid of the dark, remember?) these legless frogs are becoming a big pain in my arse. its time for them to get with the program - FROGGIES, LISTEN UP: GROW LEGS OR BE FLUSHED.

what in the sam hell do you do with a legless frog?????

one pin

hellooooooooooooooooooo!!

kate (my cousin's wife) had her surgery early this week. she's doing well. thank you so much for all of your prayers. they are greatly appreciated.

speaking of prayers - hi, christy! i've missed you - hope you're doing well. you still make me proud.

so...i went bowling with some friends and our kids this weekend. kids in one lane, big kids (us morons) in the other. just for the record - i suck at bowling. i should have been bowling with the little kids - but even then, my daughter - my own flesh and blood - would have beaten me. how is that possible? she's 7!! shouldn't she suck at bowling, too? my problem through a lot of the games was - i could knock down all of the pins, save ONE. one stinkin' pin. *sigh* i royally suck at bowling. maybe the kid beat me because they had bumpers on their lane. will they do that for the big kids? i probably should have asked.

my ex-husband is leaving today for bahrain. he's in the navy. we're calling this his 'finding a third wife' mission. see, he left me over the phone from 1500 miles away the day before he was supposed to go on his 6-month trip on his ship. 'i don't love you anymore - i want a divorce'. then *poof* he was gone. when he came back, there was a new woman, and shortly thereafter, she was pregnant with his baby (while he was still married to me). so...i wonder when wife #2 (the wicked stepmother) is going to get her call...maybe then she'll know what its like to walk a mile in MY shoes. that makes me smile a little. you see, i know something is up. the last 2 times i've met him to exchange the munchkin, he's been on his trusty little cell phone. but the second he sees me, he hangs it up - very abruptly. can't wait to see how this turns out. its almost like watching a soap opera.

hmmmmmmmm...what else do i have to talk about?

oh, i know! my daughter got one of those frog habitats for christmas, where you send off in the mail for tadpoles and you watch their metamorphasis into frogs. its only supposed to take 4-6 weeks for the complete change to take place. we've had these stupid things for THREE MONTHS, and still no sign of legs. nothing. nada. i think they sent me legless frogs. what am i supposed to do with them??? is there some sort of foundation for frogs born without the ability to grow legs? should i start one? or perhaps a rescue society??

my constantine was voted off of idol last night. i'm gonna miss his cheesy performances. and now i'm stuck with bo bice and scott savol? yick. at least i know now that carrie has a better chance of winning. you go, girl!

1 Cor 15:10
But by the grace of God, I am what I am

my voice

hello again. i know, its been awhile. some things - bad and good - happened all at once, and for what seemed like an eternity, i lost my inner voice. i lost the desire - the need to be heard. i quit a job i dearly loved because of the unfair rantings of an unprofessional boss. i got a new job working less and making more, which allows me to spend time with my daughter, which is more than i could have hoped for. but in the process, i feel i lost some very good friends. i miss felipa and desi, my geese...and shortcake. the day the crap went down at my office, i was supposed to have left town to see a man that i greatly respect and care very deeply for retire from his career in the USMC. i couldn't make it - and was too shaken to verbalize to anybody what had happened. embarrassed, actually. so i lost a group of friends there, too. i miss all of you dearly - please know that. you are in my thoughts and my prayers daily.

so, strangers and friends, here i am again, aching to use my voice. dying to communicate with outsiders again. geez...when i type that it sounds so melodramatic. but i've missed this. its good to be back!

i'm working for a mobile diagnostic company now. when i'm not testing in other doctor's offices, i'm working from home. that's great. its cool. i can pick pete up from school every day, and that's been great for her. and for me. we get to spend a lot more time together, and its been a lot more productive. she gets her homework done faster, and we don't have to fight about it because i'm not in such a hurry to get her fed and into the shower...and then to bed. i couldn't have asked for a better job.

i have a cousin, david, in baghdad. he has a wife, kate, and three children. when he calls, he tells her he's on a base, he's not going into the towns, and that he's safe. we all know he's lying, but...she doesn't. bless her heart. he's in the national guard - this is the second time he's been away. the first time, he was a security guard for the director of homeland security. this time he's going into the villages in and around baghdad, going to homes of known informants and questioning them to find more information. but kate thinks he's safe. however - kate is not. kate was diagnosed with breast cancer. she's opted to - get this - have a double mastectomy. she fears the cancer. but it can come back - anywhere. so david gets to come home and help care for her and their children for awhile. dave and kate don't need - don't deserve - this kind of stress and heartache. they've come so far together - love each other so much. but their faith, they insist, will get them through. pray for them.

you know what i did a few weeks ago? i went to my grandmother's grave for the first time - she's been gone for almost five years. gosh, it was surreal. i was a pallbearer in her funeral- i carried her there, much like she carried me through a lot of my life. it was hard to go there. but i needed to go there. i don't know if i'll ever go back. her kitchen table is at kristi's now. things are as they should be - we still sit at that table and talk. its like going home almost.

its funny, the way you find out who your true friends are - who really has your back. i haven't heard from anyone at the office in over two weeks - a few of these people self-proclaimed 'friends'. but jamie - she's the best. talks to me all the time. i'm a lucky girl - the good ones have been weeded out. i guess its just the natural progression of things.

what else can i say here? i've missed you guys...missed typing to you. but i'm back now - will write often. promise.

rage against the dying of the light.

i wonder...

things are a little slow at the office today. little d and i have spent some serious time playing solitare and surfing. so we started talking, and i said 'i wonder what our parents did at work when they got bored - you know, before the days of the internet and computer games?'

well...i really do wonder. surely they got bored at some point. did they talk on the phone? probably not...phone conversations weren't all that popular back then. so what does that leave me? converstaions - maybe. reading the occasional magazine - perhaps. thinking up ways to get revenge on your crappy boss - likely. food fights - only if they were lucky. boredom does strange things to people, huh?

i'm listening to a cd that i burned last year. i put 'the pina colada song' on it. it just came on - I LOVE THIS SONG!! i don't know why! it also has an old paul davis song on it ' '65 love affair'. that was the very first song that my dad taught me to sing. aaaahhhhhhhh...memories. some people have memories that are tied to things that they own...some are tied to scents. most of my memories are musical. that neil diamond song 'the story of my life'...makes me cry every time i hear it. 'original sin' by elton john should be on everyone's top 10 list. as well as a few by christopher cross, like 'walking in avalon'. but you all should go in search of the song called 'on the coast of somewhere beautiful' by kenny chesney. its beautiful. i could talk about billy joel for forever, but let me just say 'just the way you are', 'honesty', 'she's got a way', 'all about soul', and quite possibly one of the most perfect songs ever written ' **'and so it goes'**.

ok...i'll stop now. may you all have wonderful lives full of laughter and music.

my skin

hi, all.

i've spent a very long time in this skin - more than 29 years. so why is it that its just starting to be comfortable? why am i just now learning about myself - who i am, and who i want to be? i've lived the majority of my life on a trial-by-fire basis. i guess it was supposed to be this way, but it took so stinkin' long to get here! i was an insecure kid, insecure teenager, which i'm sure is what led me to be so insecure in my marraige...maybe that's part of the reason i'm divorced. i could tell stories about my life that would make your hair stand on end...but why? why live in the past, when the future is what matters. the past is what shapes you into who you are, but some people have a hard time letting that go - and why is that? i've dated some guys that are so terrified that i'm going to let my past influence my opinion of men...ALL men...that they don't give our potential relationship a fair chance. i guess that's because of their past experiences with other women. why is the past so hard to let go of? why can't we just learn from it and move on? its over now - it can't hurt us anymore. and if it does, its your own fault because you let it. so i just don't tell anyone anymore about most of the things that i've seen, because it usually blows up in my face. but that sucks, too, because its what happened to me in the past that made me who i am, and shouldn't someone who cares about me want to know what shaped and molded me...without judging me? i am who i am, and i'm proud of it. i'm now officially comfortable in my skin. i'd be in trouble if i weren't, right? i mean, have you ever tried to put toothpaste back into the tube. it can't be done. i can't undo my past, either. but how do you make someone else comfortable with your skin? well, you can't MAKE anyone do anything, which i suppose is part of the struggle. i've yet to date a man that will go to church with me. i've yet to date a man that will come hear me sing. that's very important to me. i guess the right one will come along at the right time, and it will all make sense to me. but i'm impatient! and i'm getting a headache...that can't be good, right?

the road i'm traveling on is a bumpy one, but i'm enjoying the ride. i've got a great family, a great kid, a great group of friends (hey, little d!), a great group of people to sing with, a great church family, and a great group of teens that make me smile whenever i'm around them. i'm truly blessed. i've got great skin.

HI DEL!!!!!!!!

website

i was driving to work this morning and saw a web address on a bumper sticker.

please visit www.homesforourtroops.org - if you can swing it, make a donation. ask your company to make a charitable donation. something - anything. they deserve it. and spread the address around - the more they can do, the better.

god bless

i'm the tooth fairy

so...i took the munchkin to dinner at el chico last night. i'm enjoying my enchiladas, and she says 'hey, mom...jared says you're the tooth fairy'

uh oh. i'm on the verge of crying...no more santa claus, easter bunny...i've been found out.

'huh? what did he say'

'we were talking about the tooth fairy. i told him that she gave me five bucks, and he told me that the tooth fairy is you...my mom...YOU'RE the tooth fairy!'

where do i go with this? how do i save myself and the sanctity of the fairy tale?

'i'm the tooth fairy, huh? so i go all over the world every night when you're asleep and take kids' teeth and give them money? nope! first of all, where would i get all of that money, and second of all, where would i keep all of those yicky teeth?? GROSS!! nope...i'm not the tooth fairy'.

she buys it. apparently she didn't get that he was saying that the tooth fairy was *everyone's* mom...she just thought i was the REAL DEAL tooth fairy. kinda cool, huh?

or...maybe poor jared really thinks i'm the tooth fairy. and that's just greatness. from now on, please refer to me as 'fairy-licious'!

random nothingness...or could it be something?

hey, all.

i haven't posted in a while...does your life ever spin out of control, and it seems almost impossible to get it back? well, it did, and i did, so here i am again. sorry if you missed me!

one thing at a time. i'm irritated about this whole tsunami thing. yeah, i know what happened over there sucks. but we sent our troops over there, and we're giving them millions of dollars to aid their now homeless population. HELLO?? WHAT ABOUT **OUR** HOMELESS POPULATION??? we do have one, you know. i see them all the time. what are we doing to help our own people? nada - just going further into debt to help other people. we suck.

i'm a barry manilow fan. love him love him love him. i was listening to a song of his...the opening line is 'we had the right love at the wrong time'. and it cut me...it hurt. and i don't even know why. it literally took my breath away. is it possible to have the right love...just at the wrong time? and if its the right love...why can't it be the right time? and if it isn't the right time, how do you get there? i mean - its THE RIGHT LOVE. what we're all looking to find. 'somewhere down the road our roads are gonna cross again - it doesn't really matter when. but somewhere down the road, i know that heart of yours will come to see that you belong with me'. i've been there - a few years ago. and we are still very very good friends. and i stopped and wondered - will our roads cross again? for a third time? and then i figured i was putting way too much thought into it. so i moved on to 'copa cabana'. but i know you will read this - and i want you to know that i think of you often.

if i had to wear my philosophy of life as a motto on a t-shirt, what would it be? don't blend in like a chameleon. stand out like a hot pink elephant.

and...last thing. HI DEL!!! mardi gras - here i come!!!

personal space vs. the prospect

hello, all.

i've been alone for almost five years now. i've come to love - almost revere - my personal space and my "me time". and i'm beginning to understand the concept behind the "old spinster". i sleep in the middle of the bed, drink milk from the jug, leave my wet towels in the bathroom, can watch chick-flick-victim-movies on lifetime whenever i want, can come and go as i please (depending on the kid and her location), not have to worry about who gets the last beer in the fridge, and i have SOLE POSESSION OF THE REMOTE CONTROL! so...if there were a prospect for me and my daughter, someone to add to our family, how on earth would i give all of that up? i know i've done it before - i was married for almost five years. but i was so young then i had no concept of the whole personal space thing because i'd always lived with someone, either my mom or my now ex. i know it would more than likely be worth it, but...what if it isn't? i've lived in fear, not wanting to get into a permanent relationship because i don't want to get hurt again, and i certainly don't want that for my daughter. its the same story about a million other people have to tell, so i won't go into detail. but...i've always got the same thought in my mind...ALWAYS.

what if? what if i fall in love? what if my daughter loves him? what if my family loves him? what if he wants to spend the rest of his life with me? and then...what if, at some point five years down the line, he changes his mind?

so, my dilemma remains - do i love my personal stuff, or could i - would i - should i - give it up? and what if?

i was attacked!

there are very few times when i actually *miss* being married. like really really want to go back to being married again. one of them is when i buy a whole bunch of groceries and have to bring them in from the car. the other one is when i have to put up the stinkin' christmas tree.

i bought a fake tree this year. a seven-and-a-half footer. i mean this sucker is MASSIVE. and its pre-lit, so not only is it reeeeealy big, its reeeeeeeeeeeeealy heavy. it was in the box in three pieces. i took it out and put it together. attached all the little plugs and put the main one in the wall. it lit up all pretty, but something was missing - COLOR! so i got out my old strings of colored lights, determined to make my apartment light up like las vegas. the tree is in the corner by the big window in the living room and the patio door. keep in mind that, during this whole ordeal, the blinds on the window as well as the verticals to the patio were WIDE OPEN.

so anyway, i go get the colored lights and a chair. i have one foot in the chair, one foot on the loveseat, and both hands on opposite sides of the lights, thus forming a circle around the tree with my arms and the lights. i start to lose my balance, the chair falls backwards, i fall on top of it, and the tree falls on me. I WAS ATTACKED BY MY CHRISTMAS TREE!!!!!!!!!! needless to say, i survived, but i have an awesome bruise on my right leg. very sexy. i'm sure it was amusing to the people that live in my complex...because i know at least 5 people saw it through my OPEN BLINDS. i'm really smarter than i look.

on another note - i correspond with a group of really awesome people during the day - all of them having to do with the military in one way or another. i salute you guys...you're awesome.

more later!

i miss back when

things were so much different when i was growing up in a small texas town. my life now feels like that place, that period in my life, almost never existed. a place that was much more slow-paced with wide open spaces just calling out to be discovered.

i miss climbing trees. believe it or not, i was a bit of a tomboy, and i was always climbing in someone's tree. i fell out of a tree once...and sprained my ankle. i wasn't supposed to be climbing trees - it wasn't 'ladylike' - so my best friend kristi had to walk me home and help me lie. (sssssshhhhhhhhhh...i didn't fall out of a tree. i slipped on a really big rock and fell down)

speaking of kristi, i miss my best friend. she and i have been friends since, as i've always said, i was in-utero. we grew up across the street from each other. we've shared bad hairstyles, bad boyfriends, bad fashion trends, good food, and great conversation. now that we're grown up and have lives of our own, we din't get to spend a lot of time together. i miss her. A LOT!

i miss sundays. there's a song called 'sunday in the south' that always reminds me of the way sundays were at my house. when i was a little girl, my mom and i lived with my grandmother. she would get me up early on sunday, we would get dressed up, and she would take me to church. when we got out, we would go back home, and she would fix a huge meal and the whole family would come over. if i think about it really hard, i can still hear the noises and smell the smells that would emminate from my mam-ma's kitchen...so well sometimes that it makes my heart ache.

i miss the popping and crackling of a record player.

i miss playing in the dirt. kristi and i dug this HUGE hole in my back yard and did the coolest things with dirt! built castles, made mud pies, had good clean messy fun. it was a blast!

i miss riding my bike to 'town'. 'town' consisted of winn dixie, mott's, dairy queen, and the snow cone stand all in the same parking lot. we would go spend hours there, just hanging out and walking around.

its too bad we can't go back in time. i miss the simplicity of the way my life was 20 years ago.