i wonder...

things are a little slow at the office today. little d and i have spent some serious time playing solitare and surfing. so we started talking, and i said 'i wonder what our parents did at work when they got bored - you know, before the days of the internet and computer games?'

well...i really do wonder. surely they got bored at some point. did they talk on the phone? probably not...phone conversations weren't all that popular back then. so what does that leave me? converstaions - maybe. reading the occasional magazine - perhaps. thinking up ways to get revenge on your crappy boss - likely. food fights - only if they were lucky. boredom does strange things to people, huh?

i'm listening to a cd that i burned last year. i put 'the pina colada song' on it. it just came on - I LOVE THIS SONG!! i don't know why! it also has an old paul davis song on it ' '65 love affair'. that was the very first song that my dad taught me to sing. aaaahhhhhhhh...memories. some people have memories that are tied to things that they own...some are tied to scents. most of my memories are musical. that neil diamond song 'the story of my life'...makes me cry every time i hear it. 'original sin' by elton john should be on everyone's top 10 list. as well as a few by christopher cross, like 'walking in avalon'. but you all should go in search of the song called 'on the coast of somewhere beautiful' by kenny chesney. its beautiful. i could talk about billy joel for forever, but let me just say 'just the way you are', 'honesty', 'she's got a way', 'all about soul', and quite possibly one of the most perfect songs ever written ' **'and so it goes'**.

ok...i'll stop now. may you all have wonderful lives full of laughter and music.

my skin

hi, all.

i've spent a very long time in this skin - more than 29 years. so why is it that its just starting to be comfortable? why am i just now learning about myself - who i am, and who i want to be? i've lived the majority of my life on a trial-by-fire basis. i guess it was supposed to be this way, but it took so stinkin' long to get here! i was an insecure kid, insecure teenager, which i'm sure is what led me to be so insecure in my marraige...maybe that's part of the reason i'm divorced. i could tell stories about my life that would make your hair stand on end...but why? why live in the past, when the future is what matters. the past is what shapes you into who you are, but some people have a hard time letting that go - and why is that? i've dated some guys that are so terrified that i'm going to let my past influence my opinion of men...ALL men...that they don't give our potential relationship a fair chance. i guess that's because of their past experiences with other women. why is the past so hard to let go of? why can't we just learn from it and move on? its over now - it can't hurt us anymore. and if it does, its your own fault because you let it. so i just don't tell anyone anymore about most of the things that i've seen, because it usually blows up in my face. but that sucks, too, because its what happened to me in the past that made me who i am, and shouldn't someone who cares about me want to know what shaped and molded me...without judging me? i am who i am, and i'm proud of it. i'm now officially comfortable in my skin. i'd be in trouble if i weren't, right? i mean, have you ever tried to put toothpaste back into the tube. it can't be done. i can't undo my past, either. but how do you make someone else comfortable with your skin? well, you can't MAKE anyone do anything, which i suppose is part of the struggle. i've yet to date a man that will go to church with me. i've yet to date a man that will come hear me sing. that's very important to me. i guess the right one will come along at the right time, and it will all make sense to me. but i'm impatient! and i'm getting a headache...that can't be good, right?

the road i'm traveling on is a bumpy one, but i'm enjoying the ride. i've got a great family, a great kid, a great group of friends (hey, little d!), a great group of people to sing with, a great church family, and a great group of teens that make me smile whenever i'm around them. i'm truly blessed. i've got great skin.

HI DEL!!!!!!!!

website

i was driving to work this morning and saw a web address on a bumper sticker.

please visit www.homesforourtroops.org - if you can swing it, make a donation. ask your company to make a charitable donation. something - anything. they deserve it. and spread the address around - the more they can do, the better.

god bless

i'm the tooth fairy

so...i took the munchkin to dinner at el chico last night. i'm enjoying my enchiladas, and she says 'hey, mom...jared says you're the tooth fairy'

uh oh. i'm on the verge of crying...no more santa claus, easter bunny...i've been found out.

'huh? what did he say'

'we were talking about the tooth fairy. i told him that she gave me five bucks, and he told me that the tooth fairy is you...my mom...YOU'RE the tooth fairy!'

where do i go with this? how do i save myself and the sanctity of the fairy tale?

'i'm the tooth fairy, huh? so i go all over the world every night when you're asleep and take kids' teeth and give them money? nope! first of all, where would i get all of that money, and second of all, where would i keep all of those yicky teeth?? GROSS!! nope...i'm not the tooth fairy'.

she buys it. apparently she didn't get that he was saying that the tooth fairy was *everyone's* mom...she just thought i was the REAL DEAL tooth fairy. kinda cool, huh?

or...maybe poor jared really thinks i'm the tooth fairy. and that's just greatness. from now on, please refer to me as 'fairy-licious'!

random nothingness...or could it be something?

hey, all.

i haven't posted in a while...does your life ever spin out of control, and it seems almost impossible to get it back? well, it did, and i did, so here i am again. sorry if you missed me!

one thing at a time. i'm irritated about this whole tsunami thing. yeah, i know what happened over there sucks. but we sent our troops over there, and we're giving them millions of dollars to aid their now homeless population. HELLO?? WHAT ABOUT **OUR** HOMELESS POPULATION??? we do have one, you know. i see them all the time. what are we doing to help our own people? nada - just going further into debt to help other people. we suck.

i'm a barry manilow fan. love him love him love him. i was listening to a song of his...the opening line is 'we had the right love at the wrong time'. and it cut me...it hurt. and i don't even know why. it literally took my breath away. is it possible to have the right love...just at the wrong time? and if its the right love...why can't it be the right time? and if it isn't the right time, how do you get there? i mean - its THE RIGHT LOVE. what we're all looking to find. 'somewhere down the road our roads are gonna cross again - it doesn't really matter when. but somewhere down the road, i know that heart of yours will come to see that you belong with me'. i've been there - a few years ago. and we are still very very good friends. and i stopped and wondered - will our roads cross again? for a third time? and then i figured i was putting way too much thought into it. so i moved on to 'copa cabana'. but i know you will read this - and i want you to know that i think of you often.

if i had to wear my philosophy of life as a motto on a t-shirt, what would it be? don't blend in like a chameleon. stand out like a hot pink elephant.

and...last thing. HI DEL!!! mardi gras - here i come!!!