today is the day!!!

its scary movie day! i've been assured that it will be late enough to be thoroughly dark enough outside (to maximize the viewing experience, of course), and i have been informed that no, i may *NOT* take a blanket into the theater to cover my head...nor can i take the earplugs. man. what a challenge. i'm up for it, though. the closer it gets, strangely, the more excited i get. why is that? why am i excited to scare the holy bejeebers out of myself? that's just not cool. should i medicate before i go? should i call my preacher to pray for me before i go? should i just jump out of the vehicle while its still moving? i should definitely visit the restroom...oh, yeah. definitely. i'm 28 years old and i have never seen a horror movie in a theater. i've seen a couple on video, but this is some serious up-close-and-personal stuff. i'm such a wuss.

i really enjoy hitting the 'next blog' button. you never know what you're going to find on here. people ranting about the election. people lost in love. people in despair because their love has been lost. lots of things in languages that i don't understand. but its the desire to communicate and reach out that always gets me. so i guess that's what i'm doing here...reaching out. talking about everything...and nothing at all. some people's words inspire. some people's words anger. and some people's words uplift. but its all in the words. its about the fact that people want to touch other people with what they have to say. i think its fascinating!!

my youth minister when i was in high school always used to say "know who you are, who's you are, and what your mission is". well, i've got the first two covered. and i'm working on the third. but how do you go about determining your mission? that's a scary prospect!

kill me...please

so, ok. i'm afraid of three things - thunder, big huge cockroaches that are bigger than my hand, and ... the dark. but i'm terrified of *one* thing - scary movies. i don't know how, really, but little d talked me into going to see 'the grudge' two days from now. have i lost my mind? so now i'll be living in a constant state of fear and anxiety until then. whatever was i thinking? i'll be making phone calls at three am because i can't sleep and i'm imagining wierd things wandering around my house. (and, apparently, a hand coming out of the back of my head in the shower)

HOLY MOLEY!! this is just not me. i must have morphed into someone else overnight...someone calmer, braver, smarter, and ... well ... not crazy!

'little d' and the boredom factor

so i'm at work right now, and i work with one of my best friends (every girl has 2 or 3 of those, right?) - desiree (aka little d)...and we're bored. so she wanted me to write some amusing stuff in my blog so she can pretend to look busy. (wuv you d!)

what do i write about? what's the difference between lima beans and boogers? kids will eat boogers. ha ha ha...lame joke of the day. everyone should have a signature joke. that pathetic one is mine.

we had a staff meeting yesterday. and we had some *lovely* chinese food. it was fab! and we were supposed to read our fortunes out loud. have you noticed that fortunes these days aren't really fortunes, but tips? 'hey, genius, don't step in the dog poo'. or 'every day is a gift'. duh! but that's not a fortune! fortunes are like 'you will meet the man of your dreams in 2 weeks when you're sitting at starbucks reading the paper'. or 'if you go on a cruise, take some immodium ad 'cuz you're gonna need it'. you know - stuff that foretells the future. but one of the girls got a "fortune" that said 'the job is well done'. i think that went over a lot of people's heads...except i think hers and mine. and - out loud - i said 'that's the best fortune you can get, because when you get to those pearly gates, that's what you want to hear! 'faithful servant, well done!!' i don't know who heard me, and who understood, but ... well, it made perfect sense to me!

well, i hope i've eased the boredom, at least for a bit. for today...call your mom and tell her you love her. it will brighten her day.

lead me to calvary

for those of you that don't know me, i sing at my church with a group of very talented, wonderful men and women. i started going to church when i was a little girl with my grandmother, and singing was my favorite part. we sing a-capella in my church, so we rely strongly on the beautiful harmonies and the amazing lyrics. one of my grandmother's (and now mine) favorite songs was 'lead me to calvary'. we sang that in church on sunday, and what that song meant finally totally made sense. i want to share it, mainly the chorus, and my interpretations.

'LEST I FORGET GETHSEMANE'
~just in case, lord, i should happen to forget where your son was betrayed
'LEST I FORGET THINE AGONY'
~just in case, lord, i should happen to forget all that you went through when your son's hands and feet were pierced with nails and a crown of thorns forced into his scalp...not to mention all of the people that mocked him and called him a fraud
'LEST I FORGET THY LOVE FOR ME'
~just in case, lord, i should happen to forget how your son saved me from the fiery depths of hell by hanging there for hours and hours and hours with no water and no one to take him down from that awful place
'LEAD ME TO CALVARY'
~then take me, lord, to the place that it all happened. let me witness it for myself, to know that you love me enough to send your one and only son to die that cruel death, so that i might have eternal freedom in your kingdom.

i had the awesome priveledge of watching the movie 'the passion of the christ' with my congregation. until then, i only knew what i had read in the bible and been taught in classes. in the span of time that i sat and watched that movie, it all hit me...he was my age. a young man. it hit me - as a mother, i could never stand for that to happen. the pain, the agony, the torture...the love. it was all there for me to see, with my own eyes. i was lead to calvary. and i was amazed.

my debt is cancelled. jesus paid it all.

in my head

hi, guys. here goes nothing!

the word 'grace' has so many different meanings - so many different connotations. it would be impossible to count them. but i want to share what it means to me.

grace is in the way that you carry yourself. a way that you present your inner-self to others. its almost a way of life, however impossible it may seem to obtain. grace is evident in everything that you do. its in the way that you smile at people when you're walking down the street. its in the way that you let someone go ahead of you in line at the grocery store when your basket is full and they only have a bottle of nail polish remover. grace is in the eyes and hands of an expectant mother. grace is in the little girl that goes and silently wraps her arms around a mother that has just recently lost her daughter. grace is in the courage with which a young girl deals with the fact that she will soon lose her life to a devastating disease. grace was there when a mother watched her son suffer and die on a cross for the forgiveness of the sins of mankind - including her own. and grace is evident in the spritually new christians, still damp from the waters of baptism. can you see grace all around you? i do. and i cherish it.

i don't really know how to close today. well...how 'bout this? give someone your smile today - they could probably use it.

wooooooo hoooooooooo!!! its friday!!!!!

see? i made it to friday - sweet! and i got to see my favorite patient today - that always puts a smile on my face, especially considering the day i'd had!

do you ever feel like you've had the worst day in the world? like you could scream and cry and throw up, all at the same time? i had that day today, and i really have no idea why...but a friend of mine made me feel much better, and i'm feeling like myself again. i suspect that that friend was standing in for the big kahuna himself, because i started reading some of my notes from church, and it hit me like a ton of bricks falling out of the sky. in the book of acts, paul goes before the san hedron, half of which are saducees (who didn't believe in the resurrection) and the other half were pharisees (who did believe in the resurrection), to stand up for the resurrection. he didn't get to finish his speech because the things he said caused a huge uproar, so he got sent back to his cell. later that evening, jesus HIMSELF stood next to paul because he needed his encouragement. today, i needed some serious encouragement, just to know that i wans't going to fall apart, and that yes, indeed, i am sane. my friend reached out to me, stood next to me, much like jesus did with paul. so, while he's not here physically, his presence is still all around me, through my friends. i think that's awesome. he stepped into my life through the presence of someone else and spoke those three magical words - 'peace, be still'. he may have physicaly left the planet that day on the cross, but he surely didn't leave me.

have you ever thought about the word 'grace'? what does it mean to you?

take care out there, people. and remember...always preach. use words when necessary.

just another manic thursday

hello, all. now that so many of you are DYING to know what i do (nods to amy), i'll tell you! i'm an electroneurodiagnostic technologist. to simplify - i shock people for a living. in man terms, i 'run diagnostics' on the brain, spine, central and peripheral nervous systems. hey - it pays the bills, right?

when i grow up (again, for amy), i would like to be ... well, it changes from day to day. some days, i would like to be a stay-at-home mom, but staying at home for too long without adult conversation drives me nuts! (i did it for 2 years). some days, i would like to be a police officer, to pull over all of the idiots i see driving down the road. some days, i would like to be a professional matchmaker, because ... well, leading people to love is awesome. some days, i would like to own a pet store, because i love little puppy kisses! but right now, i am who i am - a single, working mom taking care of my life as best as i can. and i'm cool with that.

so what do i have to add today? i don't know... i bit my my best friend's head off this morning out of frustration, and you can't ever take that back. so i feel awful. make a note - life doesn't have a rewind button. once you've said it, its out there. sometimes i don't think before i speak, and it gets the best of me later.

so, talk to me, people. what's on your mind??

is it friday yet?

hi!

i'm brandi, and this is my 'blog'. until a couple of weeks ago, i had no idea what a 'blog' was. i want to go post some stuff on somebody's site...but i'll write more soon! let me know if you read this...i'd like to know who my first visitor is. my nickname is sparky - anyone care to guess what i do for a living???