love lost

i have a half-brother. we have the same father. and i use that term loosely.

we didn't grow up together because we were raised by our respective mothers. but when we spent time together, which was usually every other weekend, we dug each other. i mean, he's my kid brother! we used to have wrestling matches with our dad...back when kerry von erich and the rest of the von erich family were cool. we even had our own wrestling names.

his life wasn't that easy - his mom was a little off, you know the story ... blah blah blah. his mother died a couple of years ago from lung cancer. he got married. he and his wife had a baby...i missed it all, because over the years, we've spent less and less time in the vicinity of each other. our grandfather died a little over a year ago. he sat next to me at the funeral...he laid his head on my shoulder, and he cried in my arms. the first time i've ever actually been there for him when he needed me...and as silly as that sounds, i cherish that.

i have a nephew running around out there that i haven't seen in years.

so today, i was in the car at a stoplight. and he turned right in front of me. my sweet baby brother...blonde hair, beautiful blue eyes. i knew him instantly. he was on his phone. i honked...he didn't notice. i don't know how to find him - i'm not close to that side of my family.

i've lost my brother.

i miss you, bruiser.