i'm not ignoring you...

my husband is coming home thursday!!

so - shout out to my new adoptive mom renee (i totally heart you)...

but in the last week and a half, i've -

driven a 26 foot uhaul
moved a kid, a cat, a dog, two hermit crabs and a fish
bought a mattress set
bought a washer and a dryer
contributed to the delinquency of an almost-minor (nope, i'm not telling)
left my mom's house - AGAIN -


all without the assistance of recreational drugs (why, god, why??)

i'll post pics and be back soon...hopefully all will be settled so that i don't lose my mind...'cuz i'm pretty damn close!

my love to you all and best wishes for a happy new year.

if i were a boy

yeah...i'm totally stealing the title from beyonce. so what?

*i would put the toilet seat down. and i might even take a smidge of toilet paper and clean the dribble i made before i put the toilet seat down, thus making it less disgusting for you when you clean said toilet.

*i would say 'excuse me' when i burped...or farted...yes, even if it was silent, because i want to acknowledge that i'm singe-ing your nosehairs, out of politeness.

*i would make a concentrated effort at looking you in the face, even if there is a decent amount of cleavage showing...especially if you are speaking. after all, somewhere in my brain, it is registering that your voice is coming out of your mouth, which is on your face...and not your boobs...

*i would do the dishes...even if it is just once a month. i know you worked hard on dinner, and i don't want you to have to ... oh who am i kidding? did i really just type this?

*i would ask you what movie you wanted to see...and then i might actually sit there and watch it...and not sigh loudly when the girls on the screen are bitching about their boyfriends/husbands/lovers for the the kazillionth time.

*i would walk out of the room when you ask me "baby do these jeans make my ass look big" so i could avoid ... well ... you know. that just NEVER ends well.

*i wouldn't give you a hard time about the purse you just bought. :o)~

*hell, i might even buy you a new purse if i see a cute one at the mall. yeah...i just typed that, too. you do realize this is a work of fiction, right?

*i wouldn't make you go to wal mart ever again. i know that it makes you want to kill yourself, what with the screaming children, the impossible to navigate aisles, the scores of people who don't speak the same language that we speak, the fact that your friend calls it so swimming with germs its just like a fucking petri dish, and the scary blue vests, so if we need something i will take the kids and give you some alone time and i will go by myself.

*i would light some candles in the bedroom, turn down the comforter before bedtime...and let you read yourself to sleep. (and possibly call 911 when the candles set the curtains on fire).

little house on fort hood

i went to sign for my house today. its so cute! new appliances in the kitchen, the carpet is almost new, its got lots of windows and great light - and lots of shade from the trees. i ended up with what they call a "bonus" room - THREE bedrooms!! yay! we were only supposed to get two. but...they don't provide you with a fence. i have to rent a fence. like i rent a movie. wierd, right? whatever. i have a house!

so as i'm driving home...out of the corner of my eye, i see this really big dog and i kind of veer off to the right to get a better look at it. only...its not a dog. its a wild boar. and i'm explaining this to my mom and my daughter who are, of course, not paying attention. i say - "how could you miss it? its a wild hog! H-O-G...PIG!" "umm...that's not how you spell pig" my daughter says. we can't all be geniuses.

the move

why i’m moving
i can not even begin to tell you how many times i have been asked why i am moving. why i married the man i did...why i'm picking up and moving my family when the rest of my family and my lifelong friends are here. i discovered this today - and i couldn't have put it more eloquently.

What is a MILITARY Wife?

They may look different and each is wonderfully unique, but this what they have in common.


They have THIS IN COMMON!
Lots of moving---
Moving.
Moving.
Moving far from home.
Moving two cars, three kids and one dog----all riding with HER of course.
Moving sofas to basements because they won't go in THIS house.
Moving curtains that won't fit.
Moving jobs and certifications and professional development hours.
Moving away from friends, moving toward new friends.
Moving her most important luggage; her trunkful of memories.
Often waiting-
Waiting, waiting, waiting for housing; waiting for orders; waiting for deployment; waiting for reunion; waiting for phones calls; Waiting for the new curtains to arrive; waiting for him to come home for dinner----AGAIN!
They call her 'military dependent', but she knows better.
She can balance a checkbook.
Handle the yard work.
Fix a noisy toilet.
She is intimately familiar with drywall, anchors, and toggle bolts.
She can file the taxes, sell a house, buy a car, or set up a move, -- all with ONE Power of Attorney.
She welcomes neighbors that don't welcome her.
Reinvents her career with every PCS; locates a house in the desert, the arctic, or the deep south and learns to call them all 'home'.
She MAKES them all home.
She is fiercely IN-dependent.
Military Wives are somewhat hasty.
They leap into decorating, leadership, volunteering, career alternatives, churches and friendships.
They don't have 15 years to get to know people.
Their roots are short but flexible.
They plant annuals for themselves and Perennials for those who come after them.
Military Wives quickly learn to value each other.
They connect over coffee, rely on the spouse-network and accept offers of friendship and favors and record addresses in pencil.
Military Wives have a common bond.
The Military Wife has a husband unlike other husbands his commitment is unique. He doesn't have a job, he has a 'mission' he can't just decide to quit he's on-call for his country 24/7 but for you, he's the most unreliable guy in town!
His language is foreign:
TDY
PCS
OPR
ACC
BDU
And so, a Military Wife is a translator for her family and his.
She is the long-distance link to keep them informed the glue that holds them together.
Military Wife has her moments----
She wants to wring his neck, dye his uniform pink, and refuse to move to Siberia.
But she pulls herself together.
Give her a few days, a travel brochure, a long hot bath, a pledge to the flag, and a wedding picture.
And she goes.
She packs.
She moves.
She follows.
Why?
What for?
How come?
You may think it is because she has lost her mind.
But actually it is because she has lost her heart.
It was stolen from her by a man...
Who puts duty first.
Who longs to deploy.
Who salutes the flag.
And whose boots in the doorway remind her that as long as he is her Military husband,
She will remain his Military wife.
my love to you all -

mrs.b

the bottle

there is a bottle of cologne buried in my top drawer. i can't bear to have it out on the dresser when you're not here. i had it out the first few days after you went back to iraq, but every time i would look at it, i would ache for you.

i came across it today - as i do most days. and when i see it it makes me sad. it floods my brain with memories of when you were here for 18 days and you belonged only to us. not to your country, not to this war. not to the people who take their freedom for granted, and not to the people who will exercise their ability to change what is wrong with this country. just to your family, the people who love you and want to protect you from the violence and the death and the bloodshed. you are such a good man - a strong man, doing what you do for all of us over here who can't seem to get it right.

and when i take the top off of that bottle and inhale the scent, it makes me weak.

come home soon, and come home safe.

not so bright husband + smart ass wife = funny

i was married before, very very young, to my daughter's father. we got married in 1995, almost right out of high school.

i was, however, a smart ass back then, too. :)

he and i only had one "physical altercation" in our marriage, about a month after we got married. his mother and father bought tickets to the pbr {professional bull riding} finals - in vegas - for them and his sister...and they left me out, knowing he would be married to me. i tried to stop him from going, he pushed me down and out of the way, and proceeded to leave. and i was alone for four days.


so...when he came back, i told him that i had gone to the doctor and gotten on birth control pills. and i carefully explained to him that the seven pills that are a different color are the pills that HE is supposed to take.

not a good idea to marry a smart ass. ;)

addendum

i added an addendum to the 'update' post...scroll down a bit...

love -